If what I wanted stayed just out of reach, I never risked not achieving it.

I never had to fail.

The love of God, the blessing of my life, my dreams - they all felt beyond me.

So I kept them out of reach, and instead sought comfort in my visions of brilliant potential.

That way I could keep being clever, and never risk having to be clear.

Now I know. For me, “potential” is as addictive as crack.

If the sky is always the limit, I can perpetuate the illusion that I am already where I want to be.

There’s an old Mexican folk song called “La Bamba” that contains this lyric:

“Para subir al cielo se necesita una escalera grande y otra pequeña.”

Translated into English: “To climb up to the sky you need a big staircase and another small one.”

If all I focused on were big staircases, I was never going to get to heaven.

But how would a small staircase make any difference?

The difference a small staircase makes is that it gives you a chance to practice. To work with scale.

I needed to learn to trust small moves.