If what I wanted stayed just out of reach, I never risked not achieving it.
I never had to fail.
The love of God, the blessing of my life, my dreams – they all felt beyond me.
So I kept them out of reach, and instead sought comfort in my visions of brilliant potential.
That way I could keep being clever, and never risk having to be clear.
Now I know. For me, “potential” is as addictive as crack.
If the sky is always the limit, I can perpetuate the illusion that I am already where I want to be.
There’s an old Mexican folk song called “La Bamba” that contains this lyric:
“Para subir al cielo se necesita una escalera grande y otra pequeña.”
Translated into English: “To climb up to the sky you need a big staircase and another small one.”
If all I focused on were big staircases, I was never going to get to heaven.
But how would a small staircase make any difference?
The difference a small staircase makes is that it gives you a chance to practice. To work with scale.
I needed to learn to trust small moves.
