I’ve learned three things
1. There is nothing special about me.
2. Any belief that I am special means I still need to prove my worth to an imagined audience.
3. I have nothing for the world that does not already exist.
I’ve also learned that the world has nothing for me. For many years, I thought it did. I looked for evidence of myself everywhere, and in everyone else. I never found me out there anywhere.
During all that time, I sacrificed being for belonging.
I wanted a kind of acknowledgment that never came. I know this for a fact because any acknowledgement that did come didn’t truly satisfy. I always wanted more. My need was bottomless.
What was I hungry for?
With guidance and reflection, I gradually came to understand that what I was hungry for was me. Nothing more than that. I realized I genuinely wanted nothing. Nothing.
In fact, I was the “nothing” I’d been looking for.
I felt incredible freedom. I didn’t need to “be” anyone, anymore. I only needed to show up in the world as me. But first I had to learn to choose me so I could do that.
I can tell you that “choosing me” is not a path, or even a process. It’s an accumulation of guided experiences that gradually become where you’d rather be.
If this resonates with you, let me know. I can help.
Schedule a discovery chat, or send me a direct message, and I’ll get back to you.